Mother of the Bride's Role 

Setting the Tone May be Her Most Important Role

The Mother of the Bride's pivotal role on the wedding day could easily be described as that of savior, whipping boy, diplomat, mood adjuster and miracle worker.  In real life and generally speaking, the Mother of the Bride may try as hard as is humanly possible to be everything for her daughter on her wedding day, but rarely achieves it. Why? Because it is impossible to provide a perfect day for anyone, not even a daughter on her wedding day. Our Mothers will try, just as she's tried every day of her daughter's life, to provide everything for her daughter. Wrong? No, not at all. It's no more than any loving mother would attempt for her daughter. 

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There will always be monster mothers whose selfish jealousy makes it impossible for them to get past themselves long enough to allow their daughters to be the belle of the ball and bridezillas who wouldn't appreciate a heartfelt gesture from their moms if it bit them on the nose.  We're not talking about those people here.

Here we're paying tribute to the wonderful mothers whose love and pride in their daughters allow them to share in their daughter's joy and the daughters who truly appreciate the enormous efforts moms put forth for them.  Mothers of the Bride who are true ladies will always remember to step back until her opinion is asked for, to refrain from rendering her true thoughts on something her daughter so obviously feels strongly about, pro or con. She'll strive to appreciate her daughter's wants and likes even if it means biting her tongue. To always, always appreciate that each of us has our own idea on what is pleasing to our own eye and sometimes, it may not be the same as the next person.  We're paying tribute to women whose nurturing mothers raised thoughtful, caring and courteous daughters with the inherent ability to appreciate the things others do for them.

Bringing money into the equation should be difficult only if mother and daughter, both adults, can't compromise.  Very few brides in this world get every single thing they wish for on their wedding day or any other day, materially speaking. It should be the mother of the bride who diplomatically reminds her daughter what is possible and what is not, no matter who is paying. To allow your daughter to lose her head when she gets caught up in the wedding choices would be criminal. Part of the Mother of the Bride's job is to watch out for this very thing. Help her plan a wedding with class where no one is offended by ostentatiousness. I know, I know, it shouldn't matter what people think and most times I agree with that, but not when a wedding is so over the top, no one has a good time. A wedding where it's clear the basic intent of a wedding, that of uniting two people in love, has been completely lost in wedding trappings.

Mom also has the obligation of peeling her daughter off the cieling when she needs it.  Stress is the name of the game in wedding planning, but whether or not the stress is good and productive or wild and destructive is solely up to the people planning the wedding.  Proper planning, scheduling and communication by the bride and her mom should go a long way to setting the tone for all involved. 

Enters bride's mom etiquette which is not covered here as there are plenty of sites offering that elsewhere.

Mother of the Bride's Role